It has been more than three months that she has been informed of her true condition. At first it felt awkward why she was advised to undergo a radio-therapy session. Like a child being told what to do without being explained why, she has endless and pointless questions. Pointless because she could't ask me bluntly because she was clueless. So I cut her out and plainly told her, "Mama ang sakit mo kanser kaya kailangang mong mag radio-therapy." (Mama you have a cancer so that is why you needed to undergo a radio-therapy).
She looked away from me teary-eyed. I was trying to hold back the tears strongly. Being weak in front of her was the least thing I could do. The last time I cried in front of her was when I brought last Oct 2011 to East Avenue Medical Center because of vaginal bleeding again and dizziness. When she asked why I was crying, I told her I worried about the hospital bills then laugh as hard as I could. Unknown to her, I was worried it was the last time we would look into each other eyes.
Few days after, Mama visited her rheumatologist. True to her words, she really doesn't mind her "C" unless pain is taking toll on her that she think of it. Otherwise, she is more concerned about her gout and wishes she could normally walk again. But the doctor advised us to proceed to Jose Reyes Memorial Hospital so they can further assess her condition.
But then she had second thoughts. And going there was delayed.
Two weeks before this entry, my brother and that same doctor finally convinced her to go to JRMC. I think she was ready.
But we're not - financially. Timing was not on our side that moment.
Her blood pressure shoot up so she was transferred to the emergency room. It was there my brother left to find some money. She was left with a nephew and a bunch of patients with different cases.
Since it is a government hospital, she was asked to leave her stretcher but offered no replacement for a seat or comfort for a 72 year old cancer patient. That plus the very costly food in the hospital, my mother led the way out of the hospital.
Now, we do not know yet how to proceed.
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